奥地利帕维尔2010年在土耳其

六年太极回顾—-奥地利帕维尔

难以相信我已经练习太极拳这么长时间了，这张照片是当时和家人在土耳其一起过圣诞节时拍摄的，即使那时练习太极拳短短一年多时间，但我规定自己每天练习一路一到二遍。我以前曾经去过中国一次，我很清楚我想在太极拳上投入更多时间。2010年，我练习的是太极拳老架，从2014年三月，开始练习实用拳法，到现在实用拳法仍然充满了我的生活，我去工作的路上练习，当带孩子去户外时练习……一直练习。我有很多见解，新的体验，见到了来自世界各地的朋友，并去中国待了7个多月来学习这门太极武术。

对我来说，一直都是很清晰，我的意思是 ：“为什么我不能那么做”，在我脑海中从没有像这类问题“我要做什么呢？”或是“这对于一个爱好来说是不是花费太贵了？”。 当人们发现我去中国，会一直问“ 中国怎么样？你看到什么了？”，一些人告诉我去过中国一到两周的旅游。当我告诉他们我在北京呆了整整一个月，并对语言有一个基础了解的时候，他们都很困惑，他们更困惑的是，当我告诉他们，我在河南省陈家沟的一个小山村（从没有看到过这么小的小村庄），在那里一个小型学校里连续学了太极拳，3年总共学了3个月。后来我改学了实用拳法后，我去山东省的大青山学习了三个月。可以猜想人们认为这些做法是多么的不可思议，所有做的这一切从来不需要决定，关于这件事我从来没有想过做任何决定，因为我很清楚我想去那么做，我唯一必须做的决定是：是否改学实用拳法，经过三四个月考虑后决定下来，那之后我报名全职去大青山学习。我的女朋友一直支持我，即使那个时候她已经怀孕；我从中国回来后不久，我们的第一个儿子就出生了。

去年（2015），我再次回到大青山，情况变了很多，我的儿子快一岁了，我非常想念他，而且自从2014年夏天，我有一份全职办公工作，没有多少空余时间，我个体经营十余年，每年大约只有25天左右休息时间，你可以想象那不是很多。我去了两个周，第一次待了不到一个月 。不得不说，那次不是很有趣，当然也不是很差，我遇到Marjorie Chong、 Lilia Tango-Berlin、Janet Ho（何倩瑜）、 Gawain Siu(萧剑文)、Michael Koh（高泉植）、 Zili Ling（凌子力）等很多很多老朋友，还认识了Lee See Seen 和 Lutz 等许多新朋友，和Lutz一起喝了三个小时茶，，感觉就像一家人，有趣而开心，但我还是想念我的家人。

今年（2016）是自2010年以来的第一年我没去中国，但那不意味着我没集中时间学习太极拳。2016年，我和我的老师陈中华去欧洲巡回演讲，我们开着我的车行驶大约2500公里；我整个行程是3500公里。

陈中华，Fabian Schnurrbart 和我去了德国柏林，陈老师在那里举行一个讲座，是由迈克和他的女朋友组织的。我听说过迈克，有时和他邮件联系，但那是我们第一次见面，讲座很成功，非常受欢迎，Fabian没有参加，因为他不得不完成他的硕士论文，但和carlotta一起 我们去了格丁尼亚、波兰，并在捷克共和国的布拉格再次会面。那之后，陈老师和我回到了维也纳。陈老师、Fabian和我每天早上练习拳法，然后观光，享用美食，还有一个小型的讲座，并有一些感兴趣的参与者。

在那段时间里，我从陈老师那里学了很多。我不是指技术或一些动作的细节指导，毫无疑问当然这些也很重要，而是通过这段时间观察,听课学到的，每个教学点基本上是相同的,但是一段时间后,我意识到,在明显的指导后面，有许多非常简单的信息，它们总是在我面前浮现，在陈中华老师的多数视频中充分体现出这些信息；这重新改变了我对这种方法的理解，它们变得简单多了，当然，这并不意味着现在太极拳更容易成功了，也不是朝向太极拳的道路变得更为直接，更易理解。

这就是我的变化，我的期望,愿望,我想象的方式,…都消失了，而且这个“消失”它本身就是一个进程,开始在这次旅游结束后，并一直持续到现在。我思想上有过矛盾斗争（过去的与现在对太极拳的认识）,后来消失了；在某些方面我思想上仍然有矛盾，我不知道将会发生什么，我不在乎。

过去，太极拳是我生活中非常重要的一部分，现在仍然如此，在我未来的生活中也许还是非常重要的一部分，但是明天我是否会停下来？这个问题真的没有任何意义。

太极生阴阳，然后是四象，八卦，然后万物。从另一个方面说，万物，八卦，四象，阴阳统一归于太极。

我不知道六年前在土耳其海滩上的事情，即使有人向我解释了，我也不会理解。

2016年12月29日原创发表于facebook

It’s amazing – to me – how long I’m into Taijiquan. This photo was shot in Turkey where I spent Christmas with my family. Even then, shortly over a year into Taijiquan an Yilu or two daily were mandatory to me. I’ve been to China once already and to me it was clear that I want to give Taijiquan much more time. Back in 2010 it was the old frame I practiced. Since March 2014 it’s Practical Method. It still and much more fills my life. I practice on my way to work, while carrying my kids open doors, … always. I had so many insights, new experiences, I met many new people from all over the world and spent more then 7 month in China to study this martial art.
For me it was always so obvious, I mean “why shouldn’t I do that” there were never questions in my head as “what I’m going to do with that?” Or “Isn’t that too expensive for a hobby?” People, when they found out that I went to China were asking “how is China? What have you seen?” Some tell me about their one or two week trip to China. They are all puzzled when I tell them, that I stayed a full month in Beijing, do get a basic understanding of the language. But they are even more puzzled when I tell them, that other than that I haven’t seen much except a small village called Chen Jiagou in Henan province where I practiced Taijiquan at a small school three years in a row for three months in total. Later when I changed to Practical Method I spent three month in a row at a mountain called Daqingshan in Shandong province. Guess how puzzled people were about that. The decision to do all that were not present. I never felt like to decide anything about it. It was clear that i wanted to do that. The only decision I really had to make was whether to change to Practical Method or not. That was a process of three or four month, after that I signed up for the Fulltime Training at Daqingshan. My Girlfriend supported me all the time even this time when she was pregnant with our first son who was born shortly after I came back from China.
Last year (2015) I went back to the mountain. The situation changed. I had a son, almost 1 year old whom I missed so much. And since summer 2014, I had a full time job at an office and limited time off. Since I was self employed for more than a decade you can imagine that 25 free days or so a year are not much. I went for two weeks. First time under a month. I must say it wasn’t so much fun. It wasn’t bad either. I met old friends, like Marjorie Chong, Lilia Tango-Berlin, Janet Ho, Gawain Siu, Michael Koh, Zili Ling and many many more and new friends, like Lee See Seen and Lutz with whom I spent three hours drinking tee and having lots of fun. It felt like family, but I missed “my” family.
This year (2016) was the first year after 2010 that I didn’t go to China. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t spent an intensive time learning Taijiquan. So in June 2016 I was touring Europe with my teacher Zhonghua Chen. We took my car and made about 2,500km. My journey was 3,500 km in total.
Chen Zhonghua, Fabian Schnurrbart and I went to Berlin, Germany. MC gave a workshop organized by Michael Winkler and his Girlfriend. I heard of him and I was mailing with Michael now and then, but we met for the first time. It was a warm welcome and a very good workshop. Without Fabian, who had to finish his Master Thesis, but with Carlotta, we traveled to Gdynia, Poland and met again in Praga, Czech Republic. After that MC and me went back to Vienna. Fabian, MC and me practiced every morning did sight seeing accompanied by good kitchen. There was a mini workshop who found some interested attendees, too.
During that time I learnt so much from Master Chen. And I don’t mean techniques or detailed instructions of some moves which were also important, no doubt. But through observing him and listening to him all this time. Each workshop was basically the same, but after a while I realized, that behind the obvious instructions there is a bunch of very simple messages. They were in front of me all the time. They are captured in most of his videos. My understanding of the method was re shaped. It got much more simple. This doesn’t mean, that Taijiquan is easier to achieve now, though. It’s also not, that the path towards it got straighter, better to oversee.
It’s me who changed. My expectations, my desires, me picturing the way,… all gone. But also this “all-gone” itself is a process which started at the end of the tour and continues until now. I was fighting, there was this “but…” and then it was gone. I still have this “but…” with some aspects. I don’t know what will happen to them. I don’t care.
Taijiquan is still a very important part of my life. It is a very important part of my past life, for sure. It might be a very important part in my future life, but maybe I stop tomorrow? Maybe not. There’s really no point in asking this question.
Out of Taiji emerges Yin and Yang. Then there are four, eight and many somethings (I forgot the names). But there’s also the other way, that the many, the eight, the four, yin and yang all come together in Taiji.
I didn’t know that six years ago at the beach in Turkey. But I would not understand it, even if someone would have explained it to me.

December 29, 2016 originally published on facebook.